A Parent's Story
According to Dr. Jim Tucker who is a Bonner-Lowry Professor of Psychiatry and Neurobehavioral Sciences at the University of Virginia, the Director of the UVA Division of Perceptual Studies, and has studied past life memories for over 20 years,
the average child begins talking about their past lives around their third birthday.
Seventy-five percent of them will talk about how they died in their past life
(mindbodygreen.com podcast with Dr. James Tucker), but in my experience
a child can also remember pieces of their past lives outside of their deaths. There
is a school of thought that if past lives can’t be verified then they aren’t real
and probably pulled from outside sources or a wildly imaginative child.
To me it doesn’t matter what side of the fence you sit on, you only have to
experience it to know that it’s real. To hear the odd calm take over your child’s
voice as they explain the details of a life they once knew or watch them in
complete fear as they explain the end of their past life is an experience to be
honored. Things happen on the parenting journey of intuitive children that only
parents of these sensitive kids can truly understand.
Some children recall pieces of past lives you can’t verify by looking up a name on
the internet or sifting through old newspaper articles at your local library.
Sometimes a child is only able to see bits and pieces that are very real to them and
I believe these stories are also worthy of mention.
Dr. Tucker believes that it’s usually during relaxed times like after a bath or during a car ride when a child is likely to recall a past life.
The following is my account of a past life revealing itself through my then six-year-old daughter.
It’s finally time to put my little one down. Her hair still damp from her evening
shower, leaves squiggly marks all over her pillowcase. After tucking her in I start
to leave her room.
“Oh no, Mommy! I’m scared!” Having been the recipient of such outbursts
before, I calmly walk back over and hold her hand.
“Why are you feeling scared?”
“Because my gifts let me see a scary green skeleton head.”
“Oh. I see. That does sound scary, but remember how I said
that your dreams are messages and clues?”
“Yes.”
“Well, this is just another message.”
“But I don’t want it because it’s scary.”
I know how she’s feeling. I was an intuitive child too. It is really unsettling to
receive information you didn’t ask for and don’t understand.
“It might be scary because you don’t understand what it means.” I offer.
“Hmm.”
Her tense grip began to loosen and the fear slightly melts from her face.
“Close your eyes and ask what this means?”
It’s been my experience that younger children can access information very quickly
and usually do so without hesitation. She closed her eyes and said
“I see a bird now.”
“Oh. How does it make you feel?”
“The birdie makes me feel excited!”
I didn’t ask her what the bird meant. I didn’t want to confuse her which is why I
asked how it makes her feel.
“Oh wow. So the bird makes you feel excited, but the green skeleton head
makes you feel scared?”
“Yes!”
Her excitement let me know that the fear is transmuting as the narrative is taking
form, and what kid doesn’t love a good story?
“So you have two feelings. Excited and scared. Scared is just excitement without
breath behind it. Watch.”
I demonstrated the bouncy movement of excitement coursing through my body and
smiled as I breathed. Then I stopped breathing, tensed my body, and scrunched my
eyebrows to show her what scared looked like. She smiled.
“You see? Now that you have named your feelings you might notice you
are feeling a little less scared.”
She tucked herself back in and I went to pick up the wet towels sprawled across the
bathroom floor.
“Mom!”
I walk back into her room praying to God that she falls asleep soon.
“I got another message and this time it was a flower.”
“How’s it make you feel?”
“So pretty! And it smells good too.”
“So we had the skeleton, the bird, and now the flower. I wonder
what that’s all about?”
I’m guiding and asking, but allowing her to come up with her own definitions.
“Maybe skeleton angel?”
I felt my heart jump. Now I was afraid. Afraid of what she was seeing. Afraid that
she would be afraid. Afraid I wasn’t going to be able to help her through this
properly. I was having a very human moment.
“No. I’m not sure that’s right since you saw bird wings and not angel
wings.”
I cringed at my own cowardliness.
“Hmm. I see hair and an ear.”
I breathe slowly, bracing myself for what I was about to hear. Trying to figure out
how I might explain a corpse to a 6-year-old before bed. I calm myself. I put some
breath behind the fear and hope it transmutes into excitement at witnessing my
daughter’s gifts.
“Hair and an ear? Ok. What is it?”
“It’s a girl. It’s me, but I have straight brown hair and big eyebrows.”
Oh thank God. She’s alive!
“Is this you like in the future when you’re older?”
“I’m older, but Mom I don’t want to look like that when I get older!”
“Ok. You won’t. You’re going to look like you when you’re older.”
“Phew!”
“When is this? Is this the future?”
“No, Mom. This is the before life, like before I came to Earth this
time.”
Bingo! We have confirmation of a past life emerging in her own words.
In our household, we are open about culture and religion. There is room for
differences of opinion and discussions about the great beyond and whatever that
means to different people. I’m a professional Spiritual Intuitive Practitioner
certified in Past Life Regression and many other modalities such as Chakra
Balancing and Energy Healing.
I know past lives show up to be healed and released. They often show us what gifts we carried in past lives or the source of struggles we carry into our current lives, certain phobias like fear of water or heights even though nothing has happened in this life to give us the reason for these fears.
I know that the woman has shown up for my daughter to be seen, healed, and
released. I’ve never discussed past lives with my 6-year-old, but I know she has
had them occur from time to time starting at the age of 2.
After her nap, she came rushing down the stairs looking for her other daddy with the beard and her other playroom with the blue walls. When she was three we were peacefully eating
lunch together when she looked at me and started telling me about how mean her
other mommy was in the scary house with the fire and begging me with tears in her
eyes not to make her go back to that scary house with that mean mommy.
From ages 2-4 I just listened and reassured her that she was now in this life and safe.
Now here we are at age 6 and I can finally offer some guidance and hopefully
bring understanding to the situation.
“What else do you see?” I ask.
“She’s outside in nature with binoculars looking at birds!”
“Oh, how lovely! You like birds too!”
“Yes, I do!”
Satisfied that we weaved together a mini-narrative of her signs we continued her
bedtime routine with books, lullabies, and kisses goodnight.
Thinking about it later, I realized a green skeleton angel is a pretty clear sign that a
past life is coming up to share a message. I made a mental note not to talk my
daughter out of her signs just because they scared me. I didn’t handle it perfectly,
but I did my best and that’s all that I can do. It’s not like there is a well-known,
socially accepted way of parenting your intuitive child. You just have to show
up and have faith.
This past life came up and my child saw what she could handle and went to sleep
peacefully. It was not my job to press for more information and process what we
found. We go where she wants to and stop when she’s ready because it’s not about
me. All I need to do is release the fear of the unknown, help her to explore her
intuitive abilities, and provide a safe space for her to arrive at who she will
become.
For now, we’ll continue working through the fear of receiving messages and help
her build an intuitive vocabulary. Whatever happens next I’ll let her lead and hope
the next little surprise comes up earlier in the day like maybe before bedtime.
A Simple Technique - Allow, Gently Invite, and Trust
I want to share a technique that worked for my daughter and maybe it will help
your child too. I call it--Allow, Gently invite, and Trust.
Allow your child to express ALL of their feelings.
When my daughter begins with fear, I allow the fear to emerge so that we can
sift through it. We use the affirmation “All my feelings are okay.” Every night
before bed to foster this belief.
Gently invite your child to investigate their feelings/narrative/thoughts.
For example, I tell my daughter “Sometimes we feel scared because we don’t
understand, so let’s figure out what it means.” Your approach and wording will
depend on your child, but it should always be gentle and loving.
Trust the process, trust your child, and don’t break your child’s trust.
When my daughter is sharing this information with me and asks me not to tell
the other parent, grandparents, or other people I honor her request. It takes so
much courage to come to an adult and share this big scary thing she doesn’t
understand. I want to be someone she can trust.
For younger children like my daughter, you can also have them draw a picture of
what they are experiencing and allow them to explain it to you if they want. This
gets it out of their bodies so they don’t hold onto it.
If you are concerned at all for your child’s mental health, please contact a mental
health professional who has experience working with intuitive children. I repeat
works with intuitive children. Otherwise, your child may receive a medical
diagnosis when he or she may just need someone to explain how to handle their
gifts.
As a child, I never went to my parents about my intuitive abilities because I didn’t
understand what it was or how to explain them. I already felt like an oddball and I
didn’t need another reason to be a freak. So I went through all of this alone. Please
don’t make your child do it alone because it’s hard and scary without a friend.
Be your child’s friend, confidant, and advocate. This is nothing to be ashamed of,
it’s a gift. Not everyone experiences past life memories or even knows that
anything exists outside of Now, so they don’t believe in it. That’s okay.
We’re all just trying to parent our children to the best of our ability. As a parent,
you don’t have to go it alone. Reach out to a group like the Highly Intuitive
Kids Parent Community that understands what you’re going through. Together we can
get through this and live in a world where these special children are taken
seriously, believed in, and honored in their communities. But it all starts with how
you react and support your child.
Here are two books listed on the Highly Intuitive Kids website in the Resources/Books section you may find helpful. There are other valuable resources there as well.
Also, please consider joining the Highly Intuitive Kids–Parent Community on
Facebook to be with like-minded parents who understand the experiences you and your child are going through.
Click the link below.
~Written by Vanessa VanRich
Vanessa is a Spiritual Counselor and Intuitive Practitioner currently working in the greater Atlanta area in Georgia. When she’s not busy taking care of her daughter, cooking, or being out in nature, she is working towards her Doctorate in Rohun Therapy at Delphi University. Her mission is to educate, empower, and inspire spiritual growth.